He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
