My liver just broke up with me...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
