I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
