Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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