his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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