it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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