I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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