she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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