HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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