I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)