It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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