OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
