have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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