Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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