he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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