I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
