is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
