while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
