yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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