Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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