so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
