Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
handjob tips. give me some.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
