You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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