I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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