Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I cannot find my penis.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
