I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize