I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
