If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
