you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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