I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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