But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
