hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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