I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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