Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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