We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
