i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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