Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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