I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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