Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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