So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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