suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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