Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
