he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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