He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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