I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
