My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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