Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
