Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
