belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
