Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
