What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
