There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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