Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
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I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
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I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie