oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?