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You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
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