and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
