I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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