you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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