Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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