i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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